'New Year's Eve': The Most Important Movie Ever Made

Curiously absent from the Oscar discussion so far this season is a small film, with a largely unknown cast, that tackles the complexities of aging perhaps better than any other film that I've ever seen. Inexplicably marketed by Warner Bros. as a comedy with a coherent plot, 'New Year's Eve' stands out above all for its jagged lack of cohesion. It takes a brave filmmaker to feature the talents of both Ryan Seacrest and Jim Belushi in a single film. Garry Marshall, the director of'New Year's Eve,' is that filmmaker. Before we can properly understand the message that this movie is trying to deliver, we must first learn about the forces that drive this small but resilient cast of characters. A cast of characters who, despite being so intimately intertwined, make it a point to talk only on the phone with one another instead of face-to-face. Even when they are in the same room, they remain so blissfully unaware of one another's presence that they never actually share a scene. This narrative disjointedness is a clear metaphor for the disconnect within our society. A lesser director would give in to the temptation to let his cast members share at least a few scenes together, but Garry Marshall is too clever to fall into the trap of creating an intelligible film with characters that you are forced to care about. By not focusing on any single character for more than four minutes at a time, he forces the viewer to ask painful questions about society as a whole and what has become of it. In fact, more than once while watching 'New Year's Eve,' I thought to myself, My God, what has happened to our society? This is why 'New Year's Eve' shines. This is why 'New Year's Eve' doesn't just define cinema; it defines us. Ingrid, played by an actress named Michelle Pfeiffer ('Wolf'), is alone. She works a job she hates (in the music industry -- I mean, can you imagine working at a job so terrible?) for a boss she despises, played by John Lithgow ('Ricochet'). How sleazy is Lithgow? When Ingrid asks for her year-end bonus, Lithgow immediately hands her a check for an unknown amount that appears, judging from Ingrid's facial expression, to be lower than what she had expected. How such a vile creature is permitted to roam the Earth this author will never understand. But there is hope that Ingrid will transcend her attenuated circumstances, and that hope arrives in the person of a bicycle courier named Paul (Zac Effron). Paul, who is 30 years younger than Ingrid, is the personification of Marshall's belief that age is irrelevant. You see, Paul's sister is played by Sarah Jessica Parker ('Striking Distance') -- even though Parker is 22 years older than Efron. To a viewer, it's obvious that Parker would be better suited to the role of Efron's mother than to that of his sister, but Efron's character never questions the film's subtly aberrant internal logic. He is oblivious to age and common sense. No scene more wholly encompasses this than the one in which Paul takes Ingrid to Tiffany's. The two are shown riding Paul's scooter up 6th Ave in Manhattan. An instant later, they are seen riding up 1st Ave, seven avenues to the east. Then, the instant after that, they arrive at Tiffany's on Madison Ave, five avenues back west. The route Paul chooses perfectly illustrates how the scattershot inconsistencies of 'New Year's Eve' represent those of his own youth, and ours. Oscar-winner Robert De Niro ('The Fan') gives his most commanding performance in years, playing a man who spends nearly all of his screen time asleep in a hospital bed. His doctor, Cary Elwes (reprising his unforgettable role as a doctor in 'No Strings Attached') gives De Niro's Stan no chance of surviving until the next day, even though Stan appears to the untrained eye to be perfectly healthy and well-nourished, an anomaly that serves only to make the situation all the more tragic. Stan spends his waking moments lamenting the failure of his relationship with his daughter, played by two-time Oscar-winner Hillary Swank ('The Core'), to a nurse portrayed by Oscar-winner Halle Berry ('The Flintstones'). It's a testament to Marshall's courage as a director that, when Swank finally arrives to pay last respects to her father, not one word about their failed relationship is even mentioned. In truth, no words are needed. Everything the audience needs to know is said by the look on both actors' faces -- a look that clearly signals, "I'd rather be anywhere than where I am right now." Jon Bon Jovi plays Jenson, who, in addition to serving as the love interest of Katherine Heigl ('Bride of Chucky'), is described in the film as "the hottest act in the music industry." Jon Bon Jovi will celebrate his 50th birthday on March 2. This feisty swipe at the music industry's obsession with youth dovetails with Marshall's serial assaults on our culture of consumerism and blatant self-promotion. How else to explain Marshall's decision to end the film with a dramatic close-up on a building-size Times Square billboard emblazoned with the poster for another Warner Bros. film, 'Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows'? And how else to explain how Blu-ray copies of Marshall's last film, 'Valentine's Day,' wind up emerging from the vaginal canal of a key character. (This really happens.) If it weren't so obvious that Marshall's hatred of our consumerist culture has driven him to near-reckless acts of self-sabotage, I would be tempted to think, "Wow, Garry Marshall has really become a hack." I mean, a rational human being could also ask, "Why are Seth Meyers and Jessica Biel even in this movie?" -- since their story about trying to have the first baby of the new year has absolutely nothing to do with the rest of the movie. But their non-involvement with the rest of the story is precisely the reason they belong in this movie. And if you have to ask what I mean by that, then I'm warning you: under no circumstances should you ever see 'New Year's Eve.' Ever. Ashton Kutcher is in this movie, and deserves special credit for not appearing in a single scene that is in any way memorable. It takes a special talent to know when to just get out of the way and let the script do the magic. Every single person associated with this movie should be ashamed. I mean, as a society, we should all be ashamed that this movie even has to exist to deliver the message it so powerfully conveys. That's how far we've fallen, and thank God 'New Year's Eve' is there to pick us up. This one's on all of us. But every man, woman and child on this Earth should be forced to watch 'New Year's Eve,' because if you feel that you don't have any responsibility for its existence, you need to take a really hard look at yourself in the mirror. You can contact Mike Ryan directly on Twitter [Photo: Warner Bros.] Follow Moviefone on Twitter Like Moviefone on Facebook

'X Factor': Simon Cowell, Nicole Scherzinger React to Rachel Crow Elimination

Director Timur Bekmambetov will receive the International Filmmaker of the Year Award at CinemaCon, the official convention of the National Association of Theater Owners, which will be held April 23-26 at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas.our editor recommendsCinemaCon 2012 Set for April 23-26 in Las VegasSequel to Angelina Jolie's 'Wanted' Moves Forward With Familiar ScreenwritersTimur Bekmambetov's 'Yolki' Becomes Russia's Local Box-Office Champ Bekmambetov, who is currently directing and producing the live action adaptation of Seth Grahame-Smith's novel Abraham Lincoln:Vampire Hunter, will be honored during the convention's International Day, set for April 23. "With some of the highest grossing films in Russian history, Timur Bekmambetov has brought a unique narrative to international film audiences since his feature film debut Peshavar Vals (Escape from Afghanistan) took a violent and realistic look at the war between Russia and Afghanistan," CinemaCon managing director Mitch Neuhauser said. "From the fantasy films Night Watch and Day Watch to the action blockbuster Wanted, Bekmambetov has thrilled audiences around the globe with his cinematic point of view." Lincoln is also being produced by Tim Burton and Jim Lemley and is slated for release by Fox on June 22. Bekmambetov has also produced The Darkest Hour, a sci-fi thriller starring Emile Hirsch thatwill be released Dec. 25. Related Topics International Timur Bekmambetov CinemaCon

Katy Perry Talks SNL: There Were A Lot Of Pitches About My Boobs!

First Published: December 8, 2011 8:53 PM EST Credit: Access Hollywood Caption Katy Perry on the set of Saturday Night LiveLOS ANGELES, Calif. -- Katy Perry has no problem showing off her figure on tour in a variety of creative costumes, and it appears shell be showcasing her shape on Saturday Night Live too, when she hosts the show for the first time this weekend. There were a lot of [skit] pitches about my boobs, Katy told Access Hollywood on Thursday. I was cool about that, but Im not sure all of it [got] in. So well see. The singer, who recently provided the voice for Smurfette in the animated feature The Smurfs has been enjoying the change of pace from concert performer to comedy actor for SNL, but shes not ready to commit to a dual career. I love doing the animation and the voice-overs, she said. It would really take something I could not live without to be in [for me to pursue acting]. It takes so much more discipline than being a musician. I can sing a song on tour and I sing it once and actors have to sing it 75 different ways from 75 different angles. Katy said there is actually one impetus to get her into acting. I love Kristen [Wiig], and if she ever asked me to do anything, I would totally do it, Katy said. Right now, Katy is happy singing, and taking on this rare outing as SNLs host and shes been getting good advice too from husband Russell Brand, who helmed the show once during last season. Of course my husband [has given me advice]. Every day Im checking in with him and hes giving me the next day move on what I should do or whats gonna go on or how I should act, she said. Beyond checking out her acting and comedy chops, when fans see Katy on SNL this Saturday, theyll get a chance to examine her recently debuted new look a cropped blond do. I got off a tour and I wanted to try something new, so I cut it off, she explained. And I went blond. I feel like Im 16 all over again, because this is the same haircut I had when I was 15 and 16, so everyones calling me [by my real name], Katy Hudson right now my family at least. Copyright 2011 by NBC Universal, Inc. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

ABC Pulls Man Up!

Man Up! ABC has pulled its struggling freshman comedy Man Up!, effective immediately. The sitcom will be replaced with reruns of Tim Allen's Last Man Standing, until the premiere of Work It on Tuesday, Jan. 3. Check out the rest of the day's news on TVGuide.com Man Up premiered on Oct. 18 and has seen a steady ratings decline ever since. Tuesday's episode hit a series low with a 1.6 rating among 18-to-49-year-olds, and 4.8 million viewers - down from the 7.7 million that tuned in to the premiere.

Brad Pitt, George Clooney and Ryan Gosling Go Evil for the New York Times Magazine

Excepting 'Kalifornia,' Brad Pitt doesn't normally play the villain -- which makes his transformation in the latest NY Times Magazine all the more devilish. Each year, the publication features photos -- and accompanying video -- of movie stars doing something outlandish. For the 2011 edition, they have brought together Pitt, George Clooney, Ryan Gosling, Rooney Mara, Gary Oldman, Kirsten Dunst, Jessica Chastain and more for a feature called 'Touch of Evil.' In it, each actor transforms into a bad-guy archetype or a specific villain. In the case of Pitt, he has, according to him, channeled the late actor Peter Lorre (although, it looks a lot closer to Jack Nance from David Lynch's 'Eraserhead'). Oldman plays the menacing dummy ("I used to have one of those dolls when I was a kid. They're creepy to have in the room"), Clooney goes for British officer William Bligh ("'I picked Captain Bligh because I liked his hat"), Ryan Gosling is the Invisible Man ("I don't really know if the Invisible Man is a villain or not, but I just don't trust the guy. He says he's going to be somewhere, but never shows up") and 'Dragon Tattoo' actress Rooney Mara as 'Clockwork Orange' antagonist, Alex De Large ("There is something off about Alex, something slightly androgynous and something much more fascinating and complex than simply a villain.'") You can head over to the NY Times to check out all of the videos or click below. [via NY Times] Follow Moviefone on Twitter Like Moviefone on Facebook

Cheers & Jeers: SNL Can get Some Nucky

The Black Secrets, Steve Buscemi, Andy Samberg Cheers to Steve Buscemi for just about any double shot getting a twist.Want more Cheers & Jeers? Subscribe to TV Guide Magazine.Within the second stint as guest host of Saturday Evening Live, the Emmy-nominated actor displayed his sillier side, hilariously playing everybody in the burnout friend of Miley Cyrus (Vanessa Bayer) with a killer who glued with Dateline's creepy Keith Morrison (Bill Hader). Inside the standout episode's most daring sketch, Buscemi transported a creepy mustache just like a college basketball coach everyone improperly assumed will be a child molester.Speaking about creepy: Over on Buscemi's normal work at Boardwalk Empire, we finally discovered exactly how close Jimmy (Michael Pitt) is always to his mother (Gretchen Mol) in the subplot that culminated by getting an Oedipal surprise. Meanwhile, Buscemi's mob boss Nucky Thompson was busy threatening his conscience-stricken paramour Margaret (Kelly Macdonald) just just in case she decides to testify against him to get her husband whacked. That's Buscemi to suit your needs: Whether he's doing comedy or drama, he always kills.Whoever else consider Steve Buscemi on SNL - and Boardwalk Empire?Subscribe to TV Guide Magazine now!

Two More Comedy Pitches Land At Systems

Fox has bought Make Room, rapport comedy from author/executive producer Timothy Stack (Boy In The Beach), because the CW has bought The Makery, an ensemble multi-camera/hybrid comedy put together by Jason Benoit and executive produced by Teri Weinberg and Scott Aversano. Make Room, from last century Fox TV, concentrates on a couple of inside their late 20s who divorce and result in demand for living together inside the same apartment due to the financial crisis. Paradigm-repped Stack will be a speaking to producer on NBCsMy Title Is Earl where more youthful crowd carried out Tim Stack, a imaginary version of themselves. He's presently a speaking to producer on Fox’s Raising Hope. The Makery, from Weinberg’s Yellow Brick Road and Aversano’s Aversano Films, explores the existence encounters of countless 20-somethings in today’s tech-driven, business generation using the eyes of Ky Harrel and her sex and associations column.